Can owning a business with your spouse or partner really work?
If you thought about owning a business with your spouse or partner, but have your reservations or doubts about it actually working out, take a deep breath and keep reading.
It’s important to know why you are going into business with your partner. Take some time to explore why you want to create a business together. Here’s some questions to consider:
Do you and your partner have amazing synergy? Where have you seen this synergy show up in your lives together? Do you and your partner love to cook and the food you prepare together always turns out more delicious than if you had done it alone? Or maybe you have a shared gardening project that you both really enjoying working on together?
Think about the things you enjoy doing together and what is the outcome. How do you each contribute to these projects? What type of energy is stirred within each of you when you create?
Ideally, when going into business with a partner, you already have synergy when you work together in day-to-day life or on projects, and there is enjoyment in this co-creating together.
If this is your experience, then you’re already off to a good start!
Understand you and your partner’s skillset and what you are each bringing to the table. Start thinking about the tasks that will be required for executing and running your business.
What are the things you love to do or have an inherent interest in? What are the things that come easily to you? Are you an amazing administrator or have a passion for marketing and design? Naturally these are the tasks that you will lead.
What is your partner good at? What do they feel passionate about? Take time to understand the roles of your business and who will fill those roles. Identify any gaps in your skillsets and determine if you need to outsource this role or if it’s something that either of you can learn along the way.
Strike a good balance. It’s important that the work load between you and your partner is balanced for your energy level and within your partnership. This is going to look different for every couple, and it’s a matter of feeling into it. What’s important here is that each partner feels supported by the other’s efforts, and that the efforts are appreciated by the other person. This sometimes takes a lot of awareness to witness your partner’s contributions and express gratitude in a way that makes the other person feel seen and appreciated.
Take time to find out what each person needs to be acknowledged for and how they want to be appreciated (if you don’t know, ask!). In expressing appreciation, and working towards balancing the work load, you can build up the collective energy, which will help energize your business even when things get tough.
Remember to be generous with your appreciations. Notice when you’re longing for something from your partner and see if you can be the one to offer what you want to your partner. In giving we receive, and what we want to receive is often what the other person is also longing for.
Make space to communicate. Communication in relationship is essential, and when you’re business partners it is even more critical.
Find ways to work through conflict. Conflict is a natural occurrence in all relationships and creates the necessary friction for growth and creativity. There are healthy generative ways to deal with conflict and there are destructive ways. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you work through conflict.
It takes time to identify and break destructive communication patterns, but the most important thing to remember is that you can only take accountability for yourself and how you respond. In becoming a Jedi master of your own reactions, you can help bring awareness to your conflicts and facilitate productive resolutions.
Work on becoming transparent with your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes in relationship we assume our partner knows exactly what we are thinking and feeling. But this is not the case. Take time to learn your own emotions and needs and take accountability for what those are. Get in the habit of sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Be concise and check with your partner when is a good time to have a conversation to discuss your thoughts and feelings. Get familiar with nonviolent communication and crucial conversations—these can be life savers for your relationship!
Take time to love each other and do the things you’ve always enjoyed doing together. Often times when we’re in a business partnership we forget about the romantic relationship that initially drew us together. Make plans to connect in ways you both enjoy that don’t involve talking about the business. Maybe you love to watch a movie and snuggle up together. Or you love to exchange massages. Whatever you do, make time to love each other.
Remember to have meaningful talks about things other than the business. Send a sweet text expressing your love or just take a moment to look into each other’s eyes and share a moment of love and appreciation. These little acts of sweet connection go a long way.
Creating a business with your romantic partner is all about finding balance. Having a business together can test your relationship, but these tests can make you stronger and will help you work through your relationship dynamic in an accelerated way. Stay committed and hold a strong vision for how you want to be as a couple ten years from now. With love, persistence, and dedication, you will be on a good path to creating something really expansive and life-giving.