Finding your life’s purpose
Finding your life’s purpose is like searching for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. If you find it, it will be the key to all of your life’s happiness, fulfillment, and success.
This creates a lot of pressure and frustration when you can’t seem to find it. Which as a result, seems to make it feel even further and more impossible to achieve.
I’d like to offer a reframe. Instead of thinking about your purpose as an end destination or something to attain, think about purpose as a call to adventure. When you decide to live a purpose-driven life, you are answering the call of the deeper yearnings of your heart and soul.
You may not know what your heart and soul are yearning for, but this is where things start to get interesting, because when you say “yes, I will answer this call,” you are accepting the invitation to embark on the greatest journey of your life and all that is being asked of you is to surrender and take the next step that is in front of you.
Take a deep breath.
You do not find your purpose, you live your purpose.
The path to living a purpose-driven life is not always clear. There is no prescription or rule book to follow, in fact, it will likely run counter to everything you thought you should be doing. The purpose-driven life will look different from everyone else because your purpose is unique to you.
Let go of judgements about what it should or shouldn’t look like. Let go of comparisons with other people. The only guide you have is your inner knowing.
You may be grasping for answers outside of yourself. Desperate for a professional to tell you what to do. This is a trap. People can help shine a light on what’s inside of you, but chances are they won’t tell you anything that you don’t already know.
Start to embrace yourself as the expert of your life.
Befriend your emotions. Our emotions are the most important navigation tool. Becoming aware of our emotions and our emotional needs is critical for this path.
We carry our emotions around like an old dirty bag of laundry. The only way to clear out this bag is to open it up and start pulling out the junk. It can be painful. Don’t get lost in the memories. Just allow them to surface. Witness them and then let them pass like clouds moving through a clear blue sky.
The more you do this, the more space you create for the good stuff to come in. It can take years to process old emotions and even still, memories and emotions will surface from time to time, but as you become more conscious of your patterns, you will have greater choice over the experiences you choose which will result in more harmonious emotions.
Notice when you feel life-giving emotions and sensations. This might be a fizzy, sparkly feeling throughout your body. It may be a feeling of vitality, joy, excitement, peace. Notice what you’re doing in these moments. What are you thinking about? What are the circumstances that nurture these experiences? Don’t dismiss anything. You might have had an enlivening conversation with a friend while eating something delicious and healthy and your body is vibrating with delight. This is all important information that provides clues to how you truly want to live.
Living your purpose is not a compartmentalized thing. It’s a way of life. If you want to live your purpose, be prepared for it to affect every aspect of your life. It can’t be any other way. If you think of your purpose as something you do from 9-5 and then you come home and carry out life as you always do, then you’re missing out on your full potential.
A purpose-driven life means that your life is becoming cohesive across all domains. It’s not just about work, it’s about the food you eat, your sleep patterns, your relationship to others and yourself, your thoughts, your exercise routines, the information you take in, your beliefs, your desires.
Think about your life as an ecosystem where everything you feel, say, and do is in symbiotic connection with everything else.
Become aware of what you say—especially to yourself. The language we use to talk about ourselves and to ourselves creates our experience.
Keep your ears open for when you say “I want to be…” You may be surprised how casually you might drop this information in a conversation with friends. You might not even believe it’s that significant when you say it. But don’t dismiss these gems.
If you hear yourself say that you want to be or do something, write it down! Put that little piece of paper on your bathroom mirror or somewhere you’ll see it all the time. Each day when you see it, notice how you feel. Do you feel enlivened by the idea? Do you feel scared? At the very least, if it’s not what you really want you can at least discard it and make space for something even more enlivening to come through.
Embrace the fear. Really, if you feel scared of the immensity of an idea, you’re on the right track. Don’t shy away from something that feels too big. You don’t have to know how you’re going to pull it off, you just have to believe it’s possible.
The Universe is the bridge to the impossible. Take steps towards your dream, don’t wait until everything is lined up just perfectly—that day will likely never come. You might think it’s crazy, how are you ever going to pull this off! You might not have the money or the support, yet. But if you are persistent and clear about what you want, you will find that there is a magic in the Universe that is working in your favor. The secret is, you have to keep moving forward.
Sometimes it feels like you’re walking in the darkness, unsure if the path is in front of you. And then all of a sudden, there it is, the path is made clear and your walking right in the center of it. It takes courage to trust that you are in fact still on the path, but eventually you’ll develop your own inner compass and navigating these uncertainties becomes easier.
The Universe has its own timing. When we set out on living our purpose, we expect to arrive right on schedule. Be prepared to develop patience as a virtue. Everyone has their own timing and fortunately, we are not in control. The Universe has a plan of its own and everything happens in divine timing if you allow it. When you allow life to unfold in its natural timing, synchronicities form around you. You may dismiss these as happy coincidences, but synchronicities are the guideposts that affirm you are on the right path.
Have a vision for how you want to feel and the life you want to live in 20 years. Take time to meditate on who you want to become in 20 years. Not just your career, but the beautiful being with life experience and joy that comes from a life well lived. Imagine how you will feel with plenty of money in your bank account, your dream home, your amazing partner, family, friends and occupations that delight you.
Ask the Universe, “please co-create my life in 20 years” and see what feelings come up.
Feel gratitude for what has yet to come, as if it already exists.
Find people you trust to share your visions with. When you give language to your visions you are literally speaking your dreams into reality. A trusted person will listen and hold your vision like a sacred gift. They can help to magnify the intention by simply feeling your excitement and the feelings that your vision will produce when it’s manifested into reality. These trusted allies will ask the questions that will bring greater clarity and awareness to your vision. They may also have an important piece for your puzzle. Maybe they have an important connection or resource that will help bring your vision into reality.
The more you share, the more opportunity you create to receive.
Trust the little voices and thoughts that encourage you to look into something. Follow that rabbit hole and see where it takes you. When something doesn’t work out, be okay with the outcome. Life is a big training ground and every experience is an opportunity to learn.
You won’t know until you try.
Follow your interests and then share what you’ve learned. Find a medium to share your gifts that enlivens you. Don’t worry about being perfect, instead be generous with what you know and what comes natural to you. Remember that the best way to learn is to teach, and in giving, we truly receive so much more. You may just find that in doing so, you are living your life’s purpose.